OSCARS aka The Julianne Moore Show

JULIANNE MOORE

OHMAGOSH. What are you doing to me?

This Oscar has your name written all over it.

EMMA STONE

Idk if this is green or gold but I love it and god bless you Emma Stone, this would have been your year if Boyhood had filmed for an extra year.

AVA DUVERNAY

Obviously the fact that this lady isn't nominated is fucking ridiculous but JUST LOOK. Amazing. Such a great colour and general swoon.

LUPITA NYONG'O

Classic N'yongo. And by classic Nyong'o I mean that I never know what she's going to go for and she looks incredible.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON

News just in: ScarJo is made of pure emerald sex steel. Woah.

JESSICA CHASTAIN

Oh you bloody cutie. And so good in A Most Violent Year too. Chastain this is not your year but you'll always have my heart.

BJORK

Let's just take a minute to appreciate the 14th anniversary of The Swan Dress

Let's go Oscars!!

This Week's Prizes

CATE BLANCHETT & GILLIAN JACOBS

C.Blanche and G.Jake turned up at the Independent Spirit Awards last night looking like a mother/daughter pattern master combo. I mean they didn't show together, but I wish they had. It's a 'where the hell do ya even look' scenario. I'm loving the ombre on Jacobs and she does weird patchwork with aplomb. Is there any colour that Blanchett can't do? She almost pulls off as many colours as she does film roles.

JENNIFER HUDSON

Look how amazing Jennifer Hudson looks in Billboard Magazine (!!) She's like a singer in an eighties backing band who always gets in trouble for looking more glam than the lead. Plum lip all damn day.

LILY ALLEN

Lily Allen woke up the other morning and thought 'I'm going to match my hair to this blouse'. Nothing more needs to be said.

GWEN STEFANI

Gwen again. You can't stop me. This suit is ONLY JUST the right side of clown and that is why she will always be the teacher and the whole world will always be the students. Also HAIR PORN

It's the Oscars tonight so expect me to go into Full Julianne Moore Mode very shortly.