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Sunday 26 October 2014

Halloween Specials: Top Ten



I love Halloween. I love Buffy. I love reading about Salem. I love Frankenstein. I love Wednesday Addams. It's in my DNA, I'm sure of it. When Sarah Jessica Parker found out on 'Who Do You Think You Are?' that she had a distant relative who was accused of witchcraft in the Salem trials I felt two things. One, unbridled joy that SJP's great great great great grandmother (or whoever) was basically SJP in the hair and makeup trailer circa 1993... and two, jealousy.

Getting into the Halloween spirit brings me so much joy I decided to write a list containing the best films to help you go about it. These are my favourite ghouly wiccafests but they're also extremely valuable style-wise. Because, witches should be on the cover of Vogue, everybody knows this. If you watch any of these films and don't feel sufficiently spooky, I'll offer a 100% money back guarantee. Or maybe I'll hex you. It's a chance you gotta take.

10. Stoker

At the risk of sounding like your Nan, "they don't make Halloween films like they used to." With a 2013 release, Stoker is the most recent film on the list. For the last ten years or so there just hasn't been enough witchcraft in pop culture. Recently, it's been on the up. Maleficient was magnificent, American Horror Story is genre breaking and I'm excited for In The Woods to be a thing... but let's just say it was pretty barren for a while. And we've obviously ruined vampires, about which I'm LIVID (I'm looking at you, Twilight, The Vampire Diaries and just the overexposure in general that not even Let The Right One In could heal.) Basically we've ruined the supernatural :(

But Stoker for me really stood out and I instantly loved it. I think Mia Wasikowski is fantastic in it, that it's reminiscent of the Burton/Ryder dynamic and it's creepily mysterious and aesthetically delicious. Nicole Kidman playing batshit is a complete dream, especially her dialogue about why we have children. The relationship dynamics are unsettling and it's allusions to Hitchcock, Dracula and Twin Peaks are finely tuned yet coy. I love Matthew Goode playing creepy as fuck (original cast member Colin Firth dropped out and for this I am very grateful). I also love that it's written by Wentworth Miller and directed by Park Chan-wook and just generally how did that work so well?? It's a mystery. Like the film in general. What is distinctly not a mystery however is the incredible use of style.

Because Stoker knows that peter pan collars truly belong to creepy Addams girls and recognises the need for them to be claimed back from twee ukelele girls ASAP. I mean the collar was first worn in 1905 for a production of Peter And Wendy by Maude Adams for christs sake. Adams, Addams, same thing.



The real style highlight of Stoker however, are the saddle shoes.


The creators of Wasikowski's actual shoes used in the film are a company (perfectly) named Muffy's, and they can be found here.

These were also used for Rory's Chiltern days in Gilmore Girls, and they are perfect and subsequently at the top of my Christmas list.



Also amazing for saddle shoes are Bass x Rachel Antonoff. I have two pairs and I desperately want more. The varieties seem endless and most are more of the cute than classic persuasion.


Let's all lace up and take in the vision.


Whatever. I'll do as I please.



9. Practical Magic



Two entries in and Nicole Kidman has featured twice. Kudos to you, Kidman, in all your ginger glory. Also starring every girl's fave Sandy Bullock and... Rizzo and Peg Boggs, this film is a masterclass in sisterhood and candle usage.

Practical Magic basically revolves around two sisters living with their two aunts. And everyone's a witch. They make potions but they also make cocktails. They drink margaritas and dance around the kitchen at midnight. It's like SATC but with a terrible family curse. A curse that means that the men they love always die. Not exactly your usual "But this was all for a bet! You betrayed me! How can I ever trust you again?!" romcom plot point. Death is pretty final. No "just one more chance and I promise I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you." Death.

The style is an odd mix of Stevie Nicks draping, all American denim, hippie shirts, vests, and Nicole Kidman wearing an inexplicably bad pair of sunglasses.

And I mean bad.



Don't say I didn't warn you.

Let's get drunk and despair at Goran Višnjić as an ogre.




8. The Witches


I love Anjelica Huston. I love Roald Dahl. So this is a perfect combination that scared me shitless as a child. Just the thought of all those witches taking of their wigs and Huston turning into that hook nosed rat queen makes me recoil faster than a Dapper Laughs gag.

I can't talk too much about The Witches or it'll for real give me nightmares.

There is some amazing tailoring though.



7. Casper


Casper is a friendly ghost. Fun fact: Casper is also a shade of foundation I wish existed.

It's a classic, what can I say. It's fun for all the family! Remember that part where Christina Ricci's teenage ghost boyfriend has to sacrifice himself because her dad got so wasted he accidentally killed himself? Oh yeah, those sweet childhood memories. Mostly this film didn't make me afraid of ghosts it just made me afraid of growing up in a world lacking a matriarchal figure. But I guess the ghosts did sneer and burp and stuff so that isn't nice either.

The style examination of Casper doesn't take long. Because Cat just dressed like she was in Hanson.


She wore those huge long sleeved shirts that only button til halfway down. What the hell are they called? I have no idea. And baggy jeans. 


Also a leather necklace and a centre part. Mmm bop!

At one point she does get to wear her mother's wedding dress though which is nice/creepy.


So the main style tip for Christina Ricci in Casper is - send a Miss Havisham memo round to all your local charity shops. I haven't tried it, but probably accurate?


6. Addams Family Values



Both Anjelica Huston and Christina Ricci's second appearance on the list. Game set match Huston Ricci. I've chosen Addams Family Values ('93) over The Addams Family ('91) for a reason. That reason, and I don't mean to be dramatic, is because Wednesday Addams changed my life in this film.

Five times that Wednesday Addams was unapologetically Wednesday Addams:

1.


2.


3.


4.


5.

Both the style direction and the casting in this is Oscar worthy. 


5. Beetlejuice



Everyone knows Beetlejuice, right? Burton at his best. Burton at his best? Maybe. Baldwin at his best? Definitely. What a hunk.


I can't begin talking about Winona because I won't stop. Beetlejuice needs it's own blog because everyone from Winona Ryder to Geena Davis to Michael Keaton to CATHERINE O'HARA I NEARLY FORGOT CATHERINE O'HARA to Miss Argentina is a style hero.

Jump In The Line and roll your eyes like a teenager.



4. Carrie



It's telekinesis time! One of my forever favourite pop culture points (Superstar, I'm looking, and applauding, at you) Carrie is in a league of it's own. As an avid fan of Julianne Moore I will always politely refuse to watch the remake. It's just a principles thing, man. 1976 Carrie is perfection. Perfection in a bitchy, bloody, batshit package.

Carrie is just something that needs to be seen. I've just tried to explain it's appeal a few times and I can't because it's impossible.

The style in Carrie however, is easy to replicate. Just take a classic prom getup, a 1970's blowout and a bucket of pig blood. Oh, and be sure to refer to your tits as 'dirty pillows'.


Bless your fawny freckly face Sissy Spacek, and all the terror it had to endure.


3. Hocus Pocus



We're into the top three! And unsurprisingly the top three consists entirely of La Witch Ensemble variety.

The style in Hocus Pocus is classic 90's. Both 1990's and 1690's.
*jackpot sound effect*

I am completely in love with Sarah Jessica Parker's look in this film. Something about her bright hair, dark eyebrows, excess eyeliner and dark red lip combo was a real winner for her. What a stunner.

Thora Birch also rocks a red lip in this. Yeah, she's an eleven year old who rocks a red lip better than we do.

SJP, Kathy Najimy and Bette Midler are powerful witches... who have to rely on a virgin resurrecting them. Obviously this thing has real comedy value. These misfits literally suck the life out of children but yet, I still adore them.

Midler is grouchy, SJP is sadistic and Najimy is a pushover. It's like all the elements of Earth, Wind, Fire and Water except this is all in aid of a silly, strange story surrounding an immortal black cat.

I was excited to find you can take a tour of the Hocus Pocus filming locations which I'm sure is a complete joy.

So let's sit back and sing I Put A Spell On You and speculate about the sequel. Also, Tina Fey's 'Untitled Witch Project' for Disney. Which I am experiencing a completely relaxed reaction to.



2. The Witches Of Eastwick




The Witches Of Eastwick is a masterpiece made up of some very confusing factors. Like levitating tennis balls, a cherry stone pukefest, Michelle Pfeiffer's heaven sent stomach apparently having housed six babies and why the hell any of them really fancy Jack Nicholson. Michelle Pfeiffer, Cher and Susan Sarandon are all SO ATTRACTIVE in this film it should, frankly, be illegal.

Style highlights include Cher in dungarees, Sarandon wandering around the supermarket in mirrored sunnies like it's Studio 54,  and Pfeiffer in "I'm A Nerdy Writer" clear rimmed glasses.

But the real style merit must be awarded to Hair And Makeup department, for getting three white girls' hairs to be so big. SO big, ALL the time. No easy feat. The fifth person on the call sheet was basically Permwig McHairspray.


This film needs a whole blog to itself also. It's glorious.


1. The Craft



Light as a feather, stiff as a board - of course it's these lunatics. It was always going to be The Craft. The Craft had me at hello, or should I say The Craft had me at "he comes on to anything with tits, Sarah."

It has everything: witchcraft, school uniforms, awful popular girls, intense lightning, sarcastic insults, an influx of snakes, and a really terrible wig (I'm looking at you, Robin Tunney.)

And Neve Campbell in an anorak. What a bonus.

And just to prove how predictable I am, I would like to share with you that number two on this list is actually referenced by number one. *saunters over into my references of pop culture in pop culture MetaCave and closes the door slowly*



For an in depth look at all things plaid and PVC, the style blog for The Craft will be up in a couple of days.

And so concludes the countdown. There's got to be something on here you like, right?


HAPPY HALLOWEEN  EVERY(MUTILATED)BODY


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